Song of the day:
Everything About You. One Direction.
okay but 1D as high school baseball players
- louis is the catcher. don’t fight me on this you’re literally So Wrong if you think otherwise. sitting behind the plate talking trash to every batter that comes his way, going to the mound when the pitcher’s starting to get stale just to tell him he’s got a nice ass to take his mind out of it a bit and it always gets him back in the game, pants hugging his ass and thighs in all the right ways, always getting annoyed that he has to have a pinch runner just because he’s a catcher when he knows he’s fast enough
- niall is the first baseman. literally the epitome of what every first baseman should be. bright and jovial and friendly enough to tell every batter that they had a good hit and people always think they’ll have an advantage over him because he’s a leftie but he’s quick with his glove and he mans the base well
- harry and liam are the pitchers. they’re both outstanding and they work impeccably with louis and it’s hard to stop either of them really. liam’s a well dimensional player — could do well outside of pitching but this is what he’s best at, he’s straight forward and no nonsense and it takes a lot for him to get shaken and when it’s his turn up to bat he can hold his own.
- harry on the other hand is all thumbs and no talent up to bat — always bunting because it’s the one thing he’s learned not to fuck up when it comes to a bat. but all his bumbling at bat is forgotten when he gets on the mound because he’s creative and he shakes things up and he’s always throwing the batters for a loop.
- zayn’s a center fielder who’s a powerhouse at the plate. he’s good for when the team’s in a pinch and needs to be rallied to take the lead again and he’s got a good arm. when a ball /does/ fly his way he’s good at catching it and snapping it back to the in field before things get out of hand.
i miss Boy Band one direction
1. First, put out an album full of songs that aren’t the typical boyband fodder that gets everyone excited with the prospect that One Direction is going to mature and try to reach a larger audience than their preteen/tween/teen fanbase.
2. Completely ignore the songs that have the best potential for reaching new audiences (i.e., Through the Dark, Strong, Happily) in favor of confusing everyone by releasing 3 songs that sound completely unlike each other - a goofy pop song (Best Song Ever), a folky mature song (Story of My Life), and a hair metal throwback (Midnight Memories).
3. Piss away any interest gained during amazing SNL performance of Through the Dark by not capitalizing on the interest from non-1D fans. Just pretend you never heard it.
4. Instead of actually promoting the album, put out gossipy articles to the tabloids and focus on PR fakelationships. It gets more press. Album schmalbum. Be sure to keep the talk of Harry going solo - gotta sell those stadium tour tix! Who knows, folks, this could be your last chance ever to see 1D as a group with all the “Harry is going solo” articles.
5. Put out a half-assed video for Midnight Memories, an 80s metal throwback that is too hard for pop radio and too soft for rock stations.
6. Don’t bother promoting Midnight Memories as a single and confuse the hell out of everyone by not releasing it officially in the US. Scratch your head and wonder why it’s not charting out of the 30s, even in the UK. Shrug because you’ve already made your cash from the rabid teen fans.
7. Put out a cheesy, ridiculous limited edition vinyl of Midnight Memories with your boybanders dressed up as a hair band. Never mind that the rest of the album isn’t full of 80s metal songs. Never mind that real 80s metal enthusiasts are side-eyeing your feeble attempt at capturing that era. Never mind that no one but a hardcore 1D fan would be caught dead buying that monstrosity. It’s all just for sh*ts and giggles, right?
8. In the meantime, just keep recycling the stuff that’s made you big bucks in the past - rerelease the book, make new cardboard cutout heads only make them HUGE so they’re even more ridiculous, squirt out a new version of the 1D perfume. Don’t hurt your brain thinking outside the box like that.
9. Sit back and collect your piles of cash until the teen fans move on. Why focus on long-term strategies or reaching new fans when you can sit back and let the horde of rabid current fans do all the work? Besides, nothing lasts forever. Milk that cash cow until it runs dry.
One Direction - “Gotta Be You” (Live at The X Factor UK)
Their spectacular moment of when the world realized that One Direction was truly something special. They were on the cusp of real greatness, of the utter certainty that they could make it. And they were gold that night (figuratively and literally flecked in gold).
(Point of interest: all of Liam’s solos.)
liam’s remix makes me giggle purely because of those horrrrible remixes/electronica he made in like
2008-2009 2006 and posted on soundcloud or wherever
but he kept at it! because liam is a little engine who could!
the kiss you video is a modern classic.
One Direction - Everything About You
this is me talking about 1d’s voices. please please read it because it is literally basically an essay
okay let’s go
THE UP ALL NIGHT TOUR ENDS TODAY